of goodnights and good mornings

The moon doesn’t seem to be on my side of the world tonight. I’m feeling a little tired right now and so I seek solace in the silence the world offers up to me, under this dark sky. I thought I got rid myself of the limerence but the longing is still there; and so I catch myself squirrelling away bits of you that you reveal, in careless joy and laughter (but you don’t see me) and the stilted conversations I attempt to have with you. (Your back, in front of me) I’ve grown accustomed to pining and maybe I’m just afraid to step up and be a little more brave. Maybe I’m afraid that (I’ve made you up in my head), that your figure in my heart and brain is a little more beautiful and tragic than you actually are (maybe I’ve made you up in my head) and that I could be so much happier if I let others be kind to me (like you may never could.)

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